Turning Life Into Legacy: How to Document Stories That Inspire

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It jogs my member with my dad, you know, growing up, I really resented that he was in the military.

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He was gone a lot.

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Uh-huh.

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Man, that stunk.

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I knew when I got married, I was not going to marry somebody who was in the military

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because I wanted somebody to be with me.

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And now I work back.

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Well, the hard part about that is similar to what you're saying, not giving your dad credit.

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I have letters.

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I have so many letters that he wrote me personally.

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Yeah.

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Well, he was gone.

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We wanted you with us, you know, but that was his job and his job took him away and it wasn't,

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you know, by choice that he wasn't with us.

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It was how he provided.

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So, you know, I took that for granted.

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And now the podcast we're together, we discuss proactive aging on your terms,

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connecting to the professional advice of our special guests while creating better days

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throughout the aging process.

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Now here's your host, Mark Turnbull.

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All right, hello, everyone, and welcome back to another lively discussion on aging today.

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We are the podcast where together we're exploring the many options to aging on your terms.

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You can find aging today and our eight years of past programs on our website.

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All you got to do is type in aging today, dot us.

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That's aging today, dot us.

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And I want to say thank you every one of you that tune in every week to listen to our lively

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discussions on the aging process.

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And I know today you will find as many nuggets in this conversation as you have in all of our past

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conversations.

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So, as we always say, if you're not too busy being born, you're too busy aging.

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And the neat thing about aging is as we age, we gain all this life experience, we gain all these

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adventures. And you know, when we get towards the end of our lives, we want to preserve those

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adventures for the next generation.

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So that's what we're going to be talking about today.

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And here to guide us down that path is an expert in that.

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Her name is Zoe Martin.

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She's the founder of Zoe Martin.

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Is that what it is?

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Zoe Martin of Zoe Martin.

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And is that in my clothes?

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In your clothes is the Zoe Martin.

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The like the Ohio State University.

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And it's the Zoe Martin.

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Yes, just like that.

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Perfect, perfect. And your photographer, a videographer, and a graphic designer, and you've

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developed websites.

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But more importantly, what we're going to be talking about today is your adventure into

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building legacies.

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And I'm very excited about that because part of the aging experience is to be able to capture all

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those stories.

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I remember as a kid growing up, I would sit down in the presence of my grandparents and my great

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grandfather.

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And they began to tell stories.

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And it was there, they were amazing.

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They were stories in logging camps.

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They were stories, you know, fishing with dynamite.

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I mean, all the things that you can't do today, they did it.

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So I'm very excited about all of this.

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So let's, let's begin.

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So what, what we do, Zoe is we always want to know a little bit about yourself.

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We want to know what's in your story, your personal story, what brought you to this place

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where you began to capture legacy.

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But before you started capturing legacy, tell us a little bit about your story.

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Perfect.

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Well, first of all, I want to thank you for allowing me to be here as a guest.

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I appreciate that opportunity. It's actually my sister story that I'm going to be sharing because

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that's how I, I ventured from what I was previously doing with my photo and video into creating

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legacies for people.

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So, verse, I also want to mention that I think it's super cool, the stories that you were able

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to sit around and have with your family, that grandparents and great grandparents, those,

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did you all capture those?

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Like, is there any audio work?

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No, I don't.

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Some, we got some audio of my great-grandfather.

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He was actually interviewed by the local TV station here up at camp 18.

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It's literally a restaurant and nestled in the coast range.

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And it's a legacy towards the logging industry.

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So there's a lot of machinery outside the restaurant.

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The tables are all made out of dug fur that have been cut around the area.

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So it was, it's a great little setting.

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It's still in existence.

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You can, when you come to Oregon, you definitely got to take a peek at camp 18.

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But that's where my grandfather, my great-grandfather, he grew up in the logging industry.

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He was on trains.

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He was burned badly and almost lost his life in a train wreck as they were moving logs

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from the mountains down to the sea.

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So those are, that's just one of many, many stories.

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And some of those have been captured on back in the cassette tape days.

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And we need to transfer those overs for sure.

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Yes, definitely, because you want to be able to preserve those for future generations.

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You know, I don't know, do you have children?

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Yeah, yeah, I've got three boys.

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Okay.

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Christina's got three girls and we're blended family and we are the Brady bunch.

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Yeah, everybody thinks that I'm sure.

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As soon as you say three girls and three boys.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Or fantastic.

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Well, I'm going to back up a little bit to telling you a little bit about me.

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There's a big family.

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I'm the oldest.

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And with that, I have three little sisters.

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And then brother is in heaven.

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And then another brother is in Australia.

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So we're all over the place.

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When we were growing up, we, you know, had family photos, but not a lot.

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And then, well, I'm not going to get the year right because we just transferred years here.

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But on 2023, my sister Christina had battled breast cancer for five years.

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And on Christmas eve of that year, I was, I was beside her with my head on her mattress when she passed away.

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And that hit me very hard.

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She was only 40 years old.

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And so we had planned the four of us sisters were going to be together.

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And I had hired a photographer to come in to, to be with my sisters and I so we could get

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professional portraits before she passed away.

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But at that point, she was in hospice care.

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And she couldn't, she couldn't get up.

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She was very weak.

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She had oxygen.

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She was sitting in the bed and she couldn't lie down or she would have drowned in her fluids.

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She had no hair and she just, she looked so frail.

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And I contacted the photographer and I said she doesn't want to be remembered like this.

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And we canceled that.

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So I'll never have the opportunity to have those photos.

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She had one child and she wanted to record milestone videos of what, you know, would be

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my niece would be able to have these milestone videos after my sister was gone.

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And my sister at that time had someone who was recording podcasts and was going to be able to

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record them.

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Christina told me that she had recorded these podcasts.

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And then after she passed away, we found out that either my sister Christina had chemo

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brain and thought she did or the person who recorded them, I don't know what she did with them.

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And so we'll never have the opportunity to have those.

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The other thing that happened, I was just this culmination with my sister.

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While she was in hospice, she was asleep, woke up and clearly just Zoe, go get the letters.

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I thought, oh my goodness, we had gotten the breast cancer diagnosis of stage four when she was

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35 years old. So five years, you know, we thought she was going to live forever.

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Five years, we knew that this was coming and I'd forgotten about the letters.

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So I picked them up. I came to her bedside.

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I opened them up and then my heart broke.

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She hadn't written any of them.

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Our sister Cecilia had created stationary artwork, but none of them had been written.

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And at this point, my sister couldn't hold her cup.

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There was no way she was going to be able to write letters. So I grabbed my phone and I said,

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here's what we're going to do, sweetheart, I'm going to record you.

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So you say, whatever you want to say, we're going to worry about getting pen to paper later.

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So I recorded two videos.

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She fell asleep and the third video I recorded, we can hardly understand what she's saying.

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Her voice is just so weak. And she didn't wake up to record again.

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Yeah, that was really tough. After the celebration of life, I went to my niece and I said,

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I got something for you.

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And I gave her the letters and explained I didn't want to write in them.

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I didn't feel like that was my place, but that I had recorded these videos.

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So we started to watch the videos and the dog is at the foot of the bed.

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As soon as Tiki heard Christina's voice, she whipped her head around.

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And where is she?

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And then my niece and I really broke down.

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And that is the power of the voice, having those recordings,

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you know, that audio so that you recognize those people through their voice.

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I mean, handwriting is powerful too.

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So that created the business pivot for me to now create like a cease-forever with people.

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I'm not going to be able to get those back, but I can do something about future generations.

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Yeah. Was there any other family photos when you guys were going up that you were able to acquire?

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And then, you like a scrapbooker? I mean, do you take...

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How does all that work today? In today's world because there's a lot of electronics.

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And how do you dub tail all those?

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Yeah. Well, what's crazy about that is because I do photo and video,

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I wanted to create the slideshow presentation for my sister celebration of life.

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And we accumulated almost 800 photos of her and all of the things that she'd done.

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So we had, you know, a lot of physical prints, but a combination with digital.

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And so I put together a slideshow. Yes, scrapbooking is something that I have done.

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And currently you could do digital scrapbooking, but for me right now,

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with legacy projects, you have the opportunity to create slideshows, photo albums. We could do stories.

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There's this huge opportunity of things that we can do at Big Embralla.

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Yeah, yeah. And we started doing a little bit of that. My dad passed away two years ago.

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And that was kind of the impetus we took all of the slides. I mean, that was the generation when,

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you know, dad was always taking pictures. Yes.

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And everything was slides. Yes.

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Hardly any prints. And so we then digitally recorded all of those going all the way back to the 1950s.

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Wow. Wow. Did you have the sheet? Like you would put the sheet up on the wall and the family would come

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and gather around for a family videos? Oh, no. You mean like a bed sheet?

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Yeah, where you would put it on the wall and you would have family movie time?

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Oh, no. We had a screen actually, dad had one of those portable screens. And then we, he had a,

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a video, you know, a super eight or whatever, those were those cameras, movies. So we have

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combination of movies and stills. And, but again, you have to preserve them. And because if you don't,

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the, the film will deteriorate and then you lose all of the, the quality of that film as well.

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Yes. We actually had that happen with our family. My husband and I have been married almost 30 years

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in March. And, um, five or six years ago, I contacted a friend who she restored, um,

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home movies. And we had taken the videos to someone else like those eight millimeter films.

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And this company was well recognized. They were on the strip in Longview. And, uh, they said there

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was nothing they could do that the film had actually stuck together. And they, they wouldn't be able to

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separate it. So I took it to my friend and she was like, uh, actually we, we're going to be able to

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save most of this. You're going to lose some, but not, not a lot. And sure enough, um, she dehydrated it.

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And then right after the dehydration process started, um, to record. And so we have them now on a

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flash drive and I have them backed up in computer. And so, yeah, I definitely highly encourage people

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to back that stuff up. If you need recommendations, I'm more than happy to share who I know.

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Yeah. That sounds good. That sounds good. So one of the things that I really enjoyed doing is

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visiting cemeteries. I know that sounds really kind of morbid, but the thing that I love about

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cemeteries is that there's a legacy that has been captured. It's captured in stone. And it's not as

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detailed, but it's kind of fun to imagine. You know, that's what I do when I go in and I love the

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epitats. And I, if I could say to anybody out there, you know, I know today is, we're kind of changing our

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paradigm. How we're, we're leaving this world. We're doing a lot of cremation as opposed to burial.

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And the thing I like about burial is that you get to carve your epitat in stone and it's there for

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generations. When you do cremation, that's the one downside to cremation is, well, it's nice to know

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that that they cast my ashes across the seas or in the high mountains or whatever romantic place

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you have in mind. You know, so, but there's no way to capture that legacy. That's the downside.

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Yeah, yeah. And I think it's important to having someone help you, you know, not just at the epitaph,

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although that's wonderful. And I totally agree. Like, I love to read the dates to know how old they were

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and get a visual of what that might have looked like, you know, their short life or their really

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long life. But having someone help you with verbiage when you're creating is not a bio. At the end of life,

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you've got that obituary written out. You don't have someone who's good with words, create that for you.

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But what's really important is what you've done with your life so that they can create,

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you know, and share what you've accomplished and what kind of a legacy you did leave behind.

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Yeah, yeah, really, really important. And we went to Scotland this summer, this sidebar,

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but we went to Scotland because that's our heritage. And so we wanted to learn more about the

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Turnbull family. And so we ended up going to the little community that the Turnbulls were originated,

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you know, goes all the way back to the King Bruce. And it's an interesting story. But when we were

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visiting some of the cemeteries there, they approach it so much differently. It's really interesting.

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Not many epitats on the stones themselves. It was usually just like the beginning date and the end date.

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And that was it. And for most of now there was some that, you know, they had lengthy things, you know,

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on there. And then some of the older ones weren't well kept, so it was hard to read, you know,

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the epitats that were there. But I find that to be fascinating. Yeah, that is interesting.

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Yeah. And so what we did for our folks for my mom and dad was we put a stone together

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because they wanted to be buried. And, you know, we took all the symbols of what they accomplished

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in life, what they did, like my dad was a school teacher. He was an architect and industrial design.

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He was also a Christmas tree grower. My mom was a chamber of commerce and she ran, she was the

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president of the chamber of commerce. And she also owned a bookstore. So we put all of those

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symbols so that the epit, you know, people would know from generations later, you know, who these people

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are. What did they do? You know, I thought that was kind of interesting to do. Yeah. I had you seen that

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somewhere else, who came up with that idea? We just kind of, you know, my curiosity with

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cemeteries. And so I think you got to tell the, I'm big on story. And our lives are nothing but a

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story. That's all they are. There, there are story. And it's really interesting when you

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approach life that way from the story perspective, it's just nothing but adventure after adventure.

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And the more interesting your story is means that you took more adventures, you took more risks.

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And that's why I always tell people, you know, don't be so conservative. Don't be so shy and

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bashful. Just get out there and try new things. Yeah. It's an adventure.

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Well, you know, you, I don't know, you can see this. I'm tearing up here. I'm just thinking

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after my sister passed away, her and I didn't listen to the same genres of music, but I was like,

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okay, I went to my niece and I said, I want to know like all her favorite songs. I want to of course

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have those in the celebration of live video that we created. And one of the songs that's called

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Unwritten. And that's basically what you're saying, you know, your, your life is a story. And,

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and today is not written. So you are the opportunity to get that pen to paper. What are you,

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what are you going to do with your life? What is your story? Write it. Yeah. Yeah. Take,

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and take a risk. Step out on a limb. You know, the old adage is, you know, never be afraid to

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to go out on the limb because that's where the fruit is. You know, if you, if you sit where it's safe,

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you know, you get, you're going to have a pretty boring story. You're going to have a pretty boring

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legacy. There's, well, what are, what are people going to talk to you? Have something really

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interesting. You know, we went to my wife and I when we first met, there was a family reunion on

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her side down in Sacramento. So we went down there and there her maiden name was Hange. And it's,

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I think it's, it's Swiss Italian. And they had a story that was a newspaper that,

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would, they had copied and printed out. They went to the archives and found this story about her

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great grandparents and on the hangy side. And there was a murder. And it was like very fascinating

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story. I'm not, and again, I'm not saying quite. They're in emergency, buddy, to, to, to build a great

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legacy. But, but what a great story to be able to share from generations down the road where she

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ended up the wife ended up, you know, killing her husband because he was abusive or something like

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that. But, but again, it's flavorful. It's a story. It tells you a little bit about, hey, we have

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the same problems today as they had two, three hundred years ago. So, you know, we just play them out

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a little bit differently. Oh, that reminds me. I was just speaking to someone. She writes stories.

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She's ghostwriter, her families and individuals. And she was, you know, explaining how she started

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in another country. German, she was in New Zealand. And, and the histories that what she found out was

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people who had known history had accomplished more for their lives because they were able to look

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back on, on that genealogy and know the stories. And they just, it encouraged them to do more, to be more

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and that people who didn't have their family story or didn't know their family history,

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that they didn't accomplish as much in their own lives. Yeah. Yeah. That's powerful. Yeah, it really is.

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It really is. So, I want to learn, learn a little bit about what some of the things you've learned as

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you begin to capture stories from other people and primarily from yourself. You know, the

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the Ampetus was, is it Christina or Christina? Christina. And, you know, that was, that was a, the

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cattle prod that got you moving forward and creating a business and creating an opportunity to

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help others capture their legacies as well. So, is, is there any legacies or any stories that have been

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outstanding for you that really stick out in your mind as you get to know people?

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The most interesting one so far has been the one I did recently. A friend of mine,

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I was sharing my struggle with her with losing my sister. And in all honesty, she was

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she's learning, she's taking a hoating course. And she's asking me questions. And because of her

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prodding, I decided that I wanted this to be where my business was focused now, to just creating

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legacy because before it was photo and video, but it was personal branding, beauty portrait headshots.

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It didn't have as much value to me as what I'm doing now. Now, this is my purpose. And because of her

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prodding, through sharing my story, she in turn shared hers with me. She had a sister who also had gotten

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cancer diagnosis. She'd gone through chemo and radiation. So there was that struggle. She has,

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I think, three sisters and then a niece, a daughter and her mother had four children. Her mother

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is completely deaf. All of the kids were hearing. So that, I mean, that's a very interesting story.

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The things that they could tell, how does a deaf mom raise children who are completely hearing?

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I can imagine all the trouble those kids must have been. So we actually photographed all three

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of those generations together. And she is sharing with me how each of these people are meaningful in

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her life. And then she created adjectives for each of them. And at this, at the legacy session that

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we did for them, she presented them and they didn't know this was going to happen. She presented them

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each with a t-shirt and had the adjective across their chest. And it was a beautiful moment to see

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their reactions and hear the reasons that she chose these, what she did. And then hers was grateful.

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And it was, it was beautiful just to hear and see and watch that unfold in front of me and the

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emotions that we captured. It was beautiful. I just, I loved it. Yeah. Yeah. Comment a little bit about

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why it's so important for us to capture stories or, and I guess, and legacy. You know, maybe we should

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define legacy. What is a legacy? Why is it so important to have a legacy that carries on for generations

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into the future? Wow. That's, that's a great question. And I feel, if for me, it's, it's a heart,

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your story really is your legacy. It's how you've lived your life. Why did you make the choices

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that you made? Who impacted those, those choices? And, and how did you then, in turn, impact other people?

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And what, what are you leaving behind? And I think we take that for granted when making choices a

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lot of times where we're, we're just worried about ourselves and we're worried about the, the moment

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at, you know, credit cards, you know, immediate gratification. But if we, if we look into the future,

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and what is going to be left, who's going to say, what about me after I'm gone? And I think the most

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important thing about these, these legacy sessions is the opportunity for people to tell their

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own story and to tell that in their own words. Because if you're not telling your story, somebody

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else is going to tell it. And is it, is that the way that you want to be remembered? So, you know,

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take that into consideration when you're making, you know, decisions that don't be so short term,

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thinking the long, what's, what's going to be remembered about you when you're gone?

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You know, what I find fascinating when we're sitting around the dinner table and we start

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telling stories from the past. It's interesting how my brother, I'm got three brothers and a sister.

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So there's five of us kids and it's really interesting how we all experience the same event.

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But each of us has our own story about how that event unfolded.

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Exactly. That's exactly what I'm talking about. I mean, and to put all those stories together,

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whether you do it, odd, do just an audio recording or I think video is my absolute favorite media

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because that captures emotion. It captures tone. Have you ever read a text message or a written one

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that was misconstrued? Because you didn't have the, the intonation, right? And so when you're like, "Oh,

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hey, backup, you know, that's not what I meant or that's not how I meant for you to understand it."

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So when you've got that audio or the video, you can capture the tone and the inflection and the

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reactions. I love that. I think that's valuable. Yeah. I want you to, I'm going to, I'm going to read

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a couple of things. I've been putting a lot of thought to story over the years and I just, I think

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that it's really important that all of us begin to contemplate process, think about your own story

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and think about the legacy that you want to leave to your children and to their, your grandchildren

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and your great-grandchildren and on and on it goes. Because you never know. Sometimes you, you may think

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that your story is lost or it's boring, but who knows? It could be made into a movie 400 years from now

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or 200 years from now. You never know, right? I mean, we're, we're making movies of, of people that

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have done extraordinary things that were forgotten and then all of a sudden their story somehow surfaced

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and it was brought to the screen. So with that, if you really want to get to know somebody,

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you need to know their story. And I think you got to take the time to really get to know your,

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and ask questions from your grandparents, ask questions from your parents, you know,

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and begin to write some of those things down. Is it, would that be a good starting place?

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Absolutely. And I think, you know, we're a little older, I mean, you're older than I am, but

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as you get older, you realize the importance of those moments and when you're younger, you're so

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focused on yourself, right? Yeah, yeah. You don't think about these conversations that you're having with

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your older generations, even your aunts and your uncles, your cousins for heaven's sakes, we all

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have these, these things that we want to share, but people aren't asking us. And you don't want to just

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start talking and you sound braggish. So when you have the opportunity to ask questions, you don't know,

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Thanksgiving, Christmas just happened, right? We were around the family table with these people who

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held meaning and value to us and chances are we didn't have deep meaningful conversations. So

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what if you created a time, even it could be, you know, a video chat because you're not actually physically

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together, but record it and capture those ask questions. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to be used to putting

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out a blog ever lasting legacy media where we have some scripts, not necessarily scripts,

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but questions, thought provoking questions that you can ask so you can do this yourself. I don't

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want anybody to miss. Of course, what I do is a paid service and it's an opportunity where we're

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going to deep dive and get needy gritty and provide a service with hair and makeup and video

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production. But if you want to do this on your own and not have all those perks, you totally can

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and you should. I think it's important, it's important for everybody. Did you know that it only takes

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three generations to lose a piece of oral family history, according to Aaron Holt of the National

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Archives and Records Administration? That means that the stories that define your family's triumphs,

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struggles and values are at risk of being forgotten. Imagine the regret of losing those memories

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forever or the joy of your children and grandchildren reliving the stories that shaped them.

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Which will your family experience? This did you know segment was brought to you by this week's guest

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and sponsored by Royal Hospice Oregon? Yeah, the second thing that I want to bring up to you

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and I want you to comment on of why it is so important to you know to capture our story, our life

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stories and continue to carry that legacy forward is that stories nourish us. What are some of the

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thoughts that come through when you hear how stories can nourish us as individuals? Yeah and nourishment

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is food, right? Yeah. It's we're ingesting nourishment. We're taking it in and we're feeding our

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souls. You know, you've talked about some of your family history and sharing your wife's family

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history and so taking that into account of what that's going to do for your future generations,

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how are they going to look back on that? I have a great grandfather, the first Mexican American to

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graduate Baylor Medical School and I have stories thanks to my great-grand uncle. He actually

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wrote a family history and so we know when he first you know started in I think it was mission it may

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have been MacKallon, south, south Texas that he didn't always accept cash for payment because people

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didn't have it and so chickens or eggs or goats you know whatever they had that was payment. Who does that

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today? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a that's a foreign concept. I mean people don't understand that but

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that was how they how they survived that was how they traded and it wasn't with a dollar bill or

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a coin it was with real live animals. And if you didn't know you know if someone hadn't recorded that

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your your children, your grandchildren, I wouldn't have known so I think that's it's valuable. Yeah,

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yeah, you know when I think of how stories nourish me I think about you know how would they strengthen

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me because that's what nourishment does is it gives me strength and when we're going through a

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dark period in our own lives there's many times when I've looked back to the past to gain the strength

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from the stories of my parents or my grandparents you know I the the older I get and since my dad has

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passed it's really interesting when he was alive I probably didn't give him the credit that he deserved

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for the accomplishments that he made in life and oh my goodness I began to ponder those things

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and I was going he had to work he had so little to work with but yet he accomplished so much in his

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lifetime and he did it quietly he did it without fanfare and I I love that because that nourishes

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me that strengthens me when I think about what he accomplished what my grandfather accomplished would

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his parents accomplished and how that has made me into the person that I am today so I I'm

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firm believer that capturing story capturing that legacy nourishes us as it strengthens us

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yeah thanks for sharing that it it jogs my member with my dad you know growing up

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I really resented that he was in the military because he was gone a lot uh-huh man at that stunk I

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I knew when I got married I was not gonna marry somebody who was in the military because I wanted

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somebody to be with me and now I work back well the hard part about that is similar to what you're

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saying not giving your dad credit I have letters I have so many letters that he wrote me personally

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yeah while he was gone we wanted you with us you know but that was his job and his job took him away

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and that it wasn't you know by choice that he wasn't with us it was how he provided so you know

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I took that for granted yeah but but the thing is that those are in your mind and these are the

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things that strengthen us they nourish us even after they're gone and that's why there's some it's

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so important to to capture that legacy to capture their stories and to be able to pass them on from

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generation to generation you know one of the things that Zoe that I'm most concerned about is

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you and I grew up in a time frame where family was at the center of everything and that's where

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the stories were told around the dinner table with family and I've one of the the the mishaps of our

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culture moving away from family you know today is that you know a lot of people listen

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have they listen to us have this conversation they can't even relate because they don't have a family

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they think about that I mean that's really kind of sad yeah and why we need to get back to building

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families and the family structure why it's so important to be at the center of our lives you know

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that reminds me when I lived I lived in the same city my sister lived four of the five years she had

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cancer and in those four years we we were within 20 minutes at one point we lived five minutes apart

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from each other and we didn't set a dedicated time to be together and that's a regret that I have

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I know someone else that every Sunday their family got together and because they were close and so

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I think that's one of the things even now we even though we're close we're not intentionally

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purposefully saying every Sunday or every Friday night or whatever and that's one of the things

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I'm super grateful for like you said my kids and I my husband we've got three children and they're

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all adults now but every Friday or Saturday we made pizza from scratch the dough the sauce everything

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and it was it's a it's a fantastic memory for us we had family time and we played games or we

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watched a movie together it was our time to be together and you know we will always be able to

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look back on that and I have some photos and things from that so one other thing that since you're

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bringing the salt about families and family tables if you have a family and you've got young children

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undoubtedly you've got a routine a bedtime routine a morning routine some kind of routine with them

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capture that that is another huge regret I have we had a bedtime routine me and the kids would

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jump in one of the beds together and we would read a story until my older so probably 15 years old

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so the older they got the stories progressed but we read a story together and then there was a good night

407
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:26,880
like and I love you and there was a different I love you for each of my kids and that was in exchange

408
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:34,320
that we had and I don't have any audio or video no photos nothing to remember that other than my

409
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:40,000
memory so that's something I'm going to be writing down because that's I love that memory when you

410
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:47,280
were describing that I was thinking about myself as a as a young child and my mom was a voracious reader

411
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:56,480
and I'm not I'm not so certain I was a voracious reader but I loved sitting there as a young child

412
00:37:56,480 --> 00:38:04,560
as she began to read you know books to us at night and those are fond memories and I can still picture

413
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:11,120
my siblings and we're all sitting around in our pajamas as she's reading the wind in the willows

414
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:16,480
I don't know if that's a story and the other one was the mouse in the motorcycle those those were

415
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:24,800
two stories that really had an impact on me growing up and they have fond memories the one thing that

416
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:32,240
that I've been looking throughout the house is those two books because she had them and I don't know

417
00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:41,440
where they are and those are those are really important items if if that's a story that you read over

418
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:48,080
and over and over again to your children hang on to those books don't let them go because someday

419
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:55,600
when the children get older like myself may it may take 50 or 60 years down the road but they're

420
00:38:55,600 --> 00:39:00,480
going to go though it's going to bring up those memories so you're going to want to keep those books

421
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:08,640
yeah 100% and I with my creative side I'm like okay so you you find these books and then you can write

422
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:14,640
that you know the memories and then you can include that in a note inside the cover so that as

423
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:20,080
that book gets passed down they'll have oh my word this is the book that you know great grandmother

424
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:25,840
used to read to grandpa and you knew yeah I mean you had there's so many opportunities to create that

425
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:32,880
legacy and we miss them yeah yeah yeah those those are really really important so

426
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:41,360
walk through if if I were to come to you and and say you know Zoe I've got all these stories

427
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:47,920
there some of them in my head some of them are in pictures and stills and some of them are in

428
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:56,400
videos you know super eights or whatever they are walk me through the process of how to begin to

429
00:39:56,400 --> 00:40:04,080
organize that legacy that I want to pass on to the next generations that's fantastic you've got

430
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:11,760
a lot of stuff that we're going to pull together yeah so I need to know what it is how much it is

431
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:18,160
for instance some families aren't as blessed as our family where we have a ton I mean I have an

432
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:24,880
entire shoe box full of those eight millimeter tapes so that is hours upon hours of recordings right

433
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:32,000
so do you have a shoe box full do you have three shoe boxes full or do you just have two or three

434
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:36,880
so I need to know how much we're looking at same thing with photos you know we had almost 800 photos

435
00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:45,920
of my sister by her 40th birthday but not every family does then again we also had the the physical

436
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:51,360
photos that needed to be scanned in and then we had the digital photos and then you've got the

437
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:56,800
quality of the images are we talking about I'm going to need to help you restore the photos or are

438
00:40:56,800 --> 00:41:04,240
they a good enough quality that we can actually use them as is how many do we have do you have them

439
00:41:04,240 --> 00:41:09,520
or are we gathering them from multiple sources because if we're gathering from different locations

440
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:15,840
and different people we've got to have a source location where we can accumulate all of this together

441
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:23,920
your written stories are are you the one that has those and have they already been written

442
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:30,000
or are you going to need to write those do you want to have an oral history do you want to have

443
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:37,120
these transcribed are we going to create a slideshow are we going to create the videos of you telling

444
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:44,320
this history are we going to do this to to an audio track with a voiceover are other people

445
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:50,400
going to be involved in the process do you also want to have a photo session where we you know end

446
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:58,080
this with you know this is our current family it's very involved and it's customized because there

447
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:05,440
are it's different for everybody we can go so far as to create a book at absolutely I encourage

448
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:11,600
wall art because that you remember when you grew up you had family photos hung on the wall that's

449
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:18,800
such a rareity now and so I actually do wall art customized and then I do the installation as well

450
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:26,480
I don't know if that answered your question but it's it's cumulative and it kind of it's

451
00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:33,600
dependent on everyone's situation yeah and and you've created a business out of this as well so

452
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:40,480
that you can you know from all the experiences you've had you can walk people through the process

453
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:49,760
tell them the things that they need to do and when it comes to capturing a lot of the pictures

454
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:55,840
and putting them into a slideshow one of the things that I really enjoy doing is is finding out

455
00:42:56,400 --> 00:43:02,240
some of the favorite music like we did that with my dad we took his favorite music and applied those

456
00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:08,160
to the slideshow for his memorial service right and you know so talk a little bit about

457
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:16,400
a memorial service and what are some of the creative things that you've seen people do that you know

458
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:22,000
will honor and you know the the life of of that individual

459
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:28,160
mmm that's that's wonderful when you know like you were talking about the music and choosing the

460
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:35,360
music based on what your dad liked I think that's one of the things funeral parlors funeral

461
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:42,240
services get wrong is they just put in some kind of emotional elevator music you know

462
00:43:42,240 --> 00:43:48,000
yeah yeah whereas that doesn't speak to who that person was it's it's just you know sadness

463
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:54,080
and I don't know that a lot of people are I guess that's something else you want to find out too

464
00:43:54,080 --> 00:44:04,560
were these people cheerful happy exciting people or were they melancholy dramatic sorrowful people

465
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:12,560
finding out what genre of music they liked it can be really meaningful to you as well because

466
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:18,720
that will bring up memories when so and so used to listen to those specific songs you know when you

467
00:44:18,720 --> 00:44:23,520
were in the car and they started singing along or they danced with you in the kitchen to that kind of

468
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:30,080
thing you know but for me one of the things that was really impactful at my grandmother's funeral

469
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:39,520
she's a Mexican we're 100% Mexican grandma wore a monthia which is a veil over her head

470
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:49,040
and I didn't know this until I was 40 maybe late 30s she always wanted a pink monthia

471
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:58,880
and so for her next birthday I gave her a pink monthia well at the funeral the podium was

472
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:07,760
covered in that pink monthia and my aunt gave it back to me and now I have it sitting in a shadow box

473
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:13,600
in my living room because that reminds me of her and that's you know something I have that was

474
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:21,360
but long to her there's really a lot of things you can do with with creating something meaningful

475
00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:28,080
you know having tangible items I think is one of the most important things you can have

476
00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:35,760
something to hold on to yeah yeah and and I was thinking too I was as you were telling your story I

477
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:42,720
was thinking of my own personal story where you know mom and dad you know accumulated a lot of

478
00:45:42,720 --> 00:45:52,080
you know artifacts if you will and but there's a story behind those so it like for example

479
00:45:52,080 --> 00:46:00,960
my mom's mom painted plates and so my mom's got him hanging in her you know living room

480
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:08,880
and we've often wondered where did those plates come from and why are they painted the way they are

481
00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:17,040
oh that's because my mom you know she was expressing herself through her artistic talents and she

482
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:25,360
they were loggers up in Alaska so there would be long days up there and so she spent her days

483
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:31,760
painting and she painted plates and so they they've passed those on from generation to generation

484
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:38,560
that's awesome yeah speaking as similar to the idea of the story book here where I suggested if

485
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:44,000
you find them to to write out you know I remember the days when mom read these and whatever the

486
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:51,280
the plates if someone had when she was alive if someone had taken the time to ask her to write

487
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:56,960
something about that and to actually have that written letter on the back of a plate so that you

488
00:46:56,960 --> 00:47:03,520
would have it and then you also have her handwriting and her signature and things you know that's

489
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:09,280
pretty cool how long does it take for the generations to forget you know I've often thought about that

490
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:15,440
you know I was Christine and I were talking about this the other day and how important it is to

491
00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:23,360
capture our legacy and pass that on and then you know there was a side of me that was like well does

492
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:30,720
it really matter because in three generations you know I figured about three generations nobody's

493
00:47:30,720 --> 00:47:38,400
going to remember who I am I mean just going past my great-grandchildren and then that's it yeah

494
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:48,160
that's accurate yeah is is that pretty accurate yeah yeah it is sadly um I actually am very fortunate

495
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:57,680
my great-grand uncle he has the family history secured through the 1500s so that's really

496
00:47:57,680 --> 00:48:02,640
uncommon yeah there are some people that can actually trace back even further which I think is

497
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:09,040
incredible but on the other side of my family it actually stops at my grandparents yeah we don't

498
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:18,560
owe their parents we don't have the city or birthdays or that's 1500s back to in Mexico um actually

499
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:26,240
Spain oh Spain yeah because of the inquisition sure sure yeah that that and that's got to be fascinating

500
00:48:26,240 --> 00:48:31,040
so have you got all that written down so the can pass that on to your children then they can pass

501
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:36,880
on to their children well I have some really cool stories I have a book and then I have that it's

502
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:42,000
I call it a scroll because it's rolled up but I have you know the family tree but there's actually

503
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:48,080
more to our story because of this situation and how my grandfather was born and not connected with

504
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:54,480
his birth family they're the beginning so it we have really interesting stories yeah yeah that

505
00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:59,920
that sounds really cool so but that's what we're trying to do is encourage people to begin to

506
00:48:59,920 --> 00:49:07,600
capture their story so that they can carry that legacy on into the generations beyond themselves

507
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:12,800
yeah it's uh I'm not gonna remember the name of the movie off the top of my head right now

508
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:18,880
of the Lion King um remember who you are yeah you know if you don't know who you are how can you

509
00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:26,160
remember yeah yeah and and you know we went on a on a pilgrimage this last summer we went to

510
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:31,920
Scotland because that's that's our roots turmble is is Scottish and it goes all the way back

511
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:42,960
to I think it's the 11 hundreds in Scotland with King the the Bruce and he was out bull hunting one day

512
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:53,040
drew back his arrow shot and wounded a wild bull and the bull charged the king and the peasants in

513
00:49:53,040 --> 00:50:00,800
his entourage one of the men William of rule stood between the bull and the king grabbed the

514
00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:08,080
bull by the horns and turned the bull away from the king and saved his life and that's that's a true

515
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:15,360
story and the king said okay you're now turmble and we're gonna give you this land and you're going

516
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:22,400
to protect our flank from marauders and invaders on the coastline and and so we were the low in the

517
00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:31,680
lowlands up to the highlands in and but see those are the kinds of things that need to be passed on

518
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:38,640
from generation to generation and otherwise if you lose that then you lose that sense of identity

519
00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:46,320
and that's where I'm I'm I'm nourished by it I'm I'm feel empowered by it and you know I'm proud of

520
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:52,240
that heritage even though they were raping and pillaging and they were probably not the greatest

521
00:50:52,240 --> 00:50:55,920
of all people and they were stubborn oh my goodness the turtles were

522
00:50:55,920 --> 00:51:06,320
noted for their stubbornness and you know not fitting in and going against the grain and that's where

523
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:13,120
that's my wife reminds me now I know why you're the way you are because that's what you've inherited

524
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:20,960
throughout the ages it's when passed on yeah yeah but but those are those are interesting things those

525
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:30,080
those things I find very interesting yeah that that is really it is interesting and I think more than

526
00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:39,600
that having having that to be able to pass down how many people first names do you know why you

527
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:49,600
were giving your first name no I don't that I know that mark is warlike which goes along with the

528
00:51:49,600 --> 00:52:01,680
Turmbles tradition of war like stubborn yeah defiant yeah yeah my my name is Greek I am have no

529
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:09,360
Greek lineage but my mother was reading a novel and she liked the name it means life eternal and so

530
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:17,040
I hated my name growing up I absolutely hated it because if two years ago nobody else had the name

531
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:23,280
Zoe it was such an uncommon name and it constantly got mispronounced I don't know how many times I

532
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:31,920
was called zoe and I absolutely hate that I will correct people and so I was 13 years old I was in

533
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:39,760
the mall with my mom and there was a gentleman making jewelry out of gold he took like a straight

534
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:47,680
piece of gold and then he shaped it in the names and so my mom she got I was there with her she got me

535
00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:54,560
my name and it it's the gold and it it's like a safety pin closure and it has my birthstone dangling

536
00:52:54,560 --> 00:53:01,920
from it I still have that but I remember at that time I'm a student while I was almost 13 at that

537
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:08,160
time when she gave that to me she told me that my name was unique and that I was unique and then I

538
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:14,960
needed to be proud of that name and that that shifted my mind set completely to appreciating my name

539
00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:21,520
now I love my name and it's more common but how many people don't know the story of their first name?

540
00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:28,480
Yeah yeah or the meaning behind it even just knowing the meaning I think is important well it's

541
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:34,720
been a fascinating conversation is there anything else that you want to pass on when it comes to legacy

542
00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:40,960
and if somebody does want to learn more about their legacy and they want to capture it

543
00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:45,360
how do they get a hold of you so that you can help them to capture it?

544
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:52,560
Perfect thanks for asking I do want to mention that if you were to work with legacy

545
00:53:52,560 --> 00:54:00,080
and you're looking to work directly with me I donate 10% of legacy sessions back to the bridge

546
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:07,760
breast network in DFW they provide breast cancer resources to underserved communities and I do

547
00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:17,120
that on honor of my sister so that's a huge part of of me being able to honor her legacy so I know

548
00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:24,160
she'd be really happy to know that that's how I was giving back to honor her with opportunities

549
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:32,640
for people everlastinglegacy.net the website will have blog information on how you can capture legacy

550
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:38,880
on your own different ideas and people that you can connect with everlasting legacy alliance is

551
00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:44,960
a group that I'm going to be starting soon and that if you are engaged in the space whether you're

552
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:50,960
a financial advisor retirement planner wills and trusts attorneys people who are in interest in

553
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:56,880
ingeniology I want to create an alliance where we can all come together to help people preserve

554
00:54:56,880 --> 00:55:03,520
their legacy and give them opportunities and education on how they can do that so these OEMarton

555
00:55:03,520 --> 00:55:08,160
is where you can find me on social media and all that information will be in the show notes.

556
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:14,480
All right well we're a fascinating conversation that we've had today and I want to thank you

557
00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:21,440
for being on aging today and let's I hope that this encourages others to begin to capture

558
00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:31,760
their own legacies and to be able to somehow put them into a form that will carry on for generations.

559
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:38,160
Absolutely. Yeah all right well this is Mark Turnbull your host and I want to thank all of you

560
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:45,120
for tuning in to aging today we are the podcast where together works boring the many options to

561
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:52,400
aging on your terms join us every Monday when we release a new conversation on aging today to your

562
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:59,840
favorite podcast channel and remember this we're all in the process of aging and as we age we really

563
00:55:59,840 --> 00:56:18,240
are better together so stay young at heart.

564
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:27,920
I want to go play hide and see I want to go and bounce the moon just like a toy balloon

565
00:56:27,920 --> 00:56:37,280
well you and I I'll just like a bullet heart running across the metal

566
00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:47,120
pick up lots of get me night so you made me feel so young you made me feel there are songs to be sung

567
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:55,200
there will still be wrong and wonderful thing to be fun anywhere I'm old and grey you've been

568
00:56:55,200 --> 00:57:02,160
listening to aging today where together we explore the options to aging on your terms join Mark

569
00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:08,960
in his guest next week for another lively discussion on proactively aging on your terms connecting you

570
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:14,480
to the professional advice of his special guests with the goal of creating better days throughout

571
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:21,680
the aging process your host has been Mark Turnbull join Mark in his guest every week on aging today your

572
00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:31,920
podcast to exploring your options for aging on your terms and you when I'm grey you make me feel the way I feel today

573
00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:56,480
because you make me feel so you make me feel so you make me feel so young so young you make me feel so young